Ok, make your jokes...
Last night I had dinner with a guy for some business my father is interested in. I enjoy having dinner with this guy; his English is quite good, but it is just off enough that I always leave with a funny anecdote.
He is a very touchy/feely man. I think this is because he thinks that Westerns are, and he is trying to act more Western. But he tries to hard. Any time a handskake would be appropriate, he give you a hug. When you are walking, he always wants to hold hands (actually, that is a Chinese thing), but even to the point where he tries to get your hand out of your pocket.
After dinner we were walking to the bus stop and he had his arm around me (yes, make your jokes... again, this is very Chinese) and he said to me,
"Mr. Nick, you are my lover."
"Umm.... no, I am not your lover."
"But, why? (with puzzled look on his face)"
"Your wife is your lover, not I."
"I not understand. No, you are my lover!"
"No, your wife is your lover because you sleep in the same bed as her."
"Oooooh.... I understand. Haha, no, you are not my lover. Sorry. Mistake."
"Glad we got that staight."
"You are my like-er!"